Dear Words I've Left Unsaid,

You deserve to be heard.

Your voice should be released for all to hear.

I am so sorry for repressing you, 

for not having the courage to release you.

To let you see the light and feed off of the oxygen in the atmosphere.

I've kept you locked in for ever after, 

like a pure princess with golden locks and far too much bitterness for one heart.

I've buried you deep, 

you're pushing up daisies,

yet much deeper than 6 feet under the soil.

Some of you remained in for fear of others judgement, 

others were locked away because my weak tongue and frail voice were simply not determined enough to bring you to life.

How many opportunities have I missed by extinguishing you?

How many lives did I miss the chance to touch?

Selfishness overtakes my heart like unruly vines,

 latching on and growing around everything in its path. 

Insecurity has locked you in.

Forcing you to pace back and forth in my disheveled mind.

Between the tip of my tongue and the back of my head, 

back and forth until you are overworked and unintelligible, 

Insecurity rebukes your advancement.

Always second guessing…

I am so fearful of leaving more things left unsaid.

These words are like water slowly filling up my lungs, 

drowning me slowly with each accumulating droplet.

Words of encouragement, raw honesty, and resentment.

Words from God placed on my heart to be spoken to the congregation, 

Words given to me specifically to touch someone else. 

Yet I selfishly hoard them. 

Locking them away from innocent ears.

If I were to write you out, 

all of you.

If I were to breathe air into your dusty hearts,

Bringing you bodies of paper and ink, 

swelling with emotion, 

standing firm unmoving on the page, 

yet running fast and all together eager to be free…

What would you do?

What weight would you hold?

If I brought life to everything I suffocated within myself, 

If I demolished the chains of all that held me back.

If I laughed in the face of insecurity and danced in place of judgement.

If I were to relinquish the things that were more beautiful than silence, 

Sincere yet raw.

I am so sorry for not having the courage to tell you how deeply you hurt me.

And how desperately I wish you would see me, 

Really see me,

And care.

Instead of telling you,

 I let resentment and bitterness overtake the corridors of my heart.

I am so sorry I never told you how much I despise your apathy.

You are capable of so much more than I could ever express, 

Yet you squander your power in filth and lethargy.

I am so sorry I didn't tell you how gorgeous you are, 

That I was fearful vocalizing emphasis to your beauty would diminish my own.

I am so sorry I was unable to tell you how much I loved and admired you before you slipped through the cracks of this mortal world.

I'm sorry I never told you that you were the absolute light of my existence through some of the hardest years of my life,

 And I would never be the person I am today without you. 

I'm sorry for not telling you the second I doubted,

You deserve that.

I'm sorry for not telling you that your pants were too small and your shirt was too low.

You are a beautiful daughter of the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and you deserve the proper attention.

I should have reminded you of that.

I am sorry I never told you how deeply your fire scares me.

You are full of this roaring passion, 

And with it you will do so much.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you how worthy of being loved you are.

I am so sorry for not telling you what you do to my heart.

I apologize sincerely for not adequately expressing my love and gratitude to you for everything you are, 

and all you've done for me. 

I am so deeply remorseful I am now unable to say everything I've left unsaid. 

In retrospect,

Years flee like seconds. 

Time swallows us whole.

Hearts can be crushed in a moment, 

Never to pulsate with love again…

Don't leave a single word unsaid. 

Write letters.

Laugh uninhibited.

Be honest, 

With others and especially with yourself.

Seize every opportunity, 

And paint every day in PASSION.

Once gone, 

Today is irretrievable.

Don't let it pass without speaking every word on your heart.

With all my love, Meg